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It's Lonelier At the Bottom

by Betwixt Lungs

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1.
Take a Seat 01:19
I don't give a FUCK if this is what you wanna hear or not. it's MY TIME and I'm SICK of rotting in here alone. I'll talk your ears right off your fucking skull if it's in my best interest to, if it means EXORCISING the restless demons setting up incense in the corner of my cranium. This isn't their dorm room it's MY fucking planetarium and I'll do with it what I so choose. See I've been fighting these things for far too long, they SUCK AT THE LIGHT hiding away in my bones and they EAT IT ALL UP like it's their only source of food. But I'm done playing the victim and I'm done playing dead. If it's light they wanna devour then it's DARKNESS I'LL SHOVE DOWN THEIR THROAT.
2.
I could write all I'd want, it still wouldn't get through. I knew what it meant the second I laid my eyes on you. OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW. I'd change myself from human to beast if it meant I could taste the heaven from whence you came, even if I had to survive AN ETERNITY IN HELL for a single second of hearing "I love you." But that's the game we play, the cat and mouse look-the-other way, just maybe we'll find something worth fighting for. Or maybe we'll just fall forever. Or maybe we'll just, JUST FALL FOREVER. God, I can't believe what I became all in hopes of naming me yours. 'Cause you were mine IF EVEN FOR A GLIMPSE and when it all came crashing down like an autumn leaf I should've known better than to believe you'd stay. I should've...I SHOULD'VE...
3.
Time fucks with me something fierce. I could be counting for the next two centuries and still come up short. The end is near, I'm sure of it, and I WON'T BE CAUGHT EMPTY-HANDED. I've got a bucket list to get to, cross out like it's a race against a turtle and I'm the hare. Sick of waiting to TAKE WHAT'S MINE. I'll find a way to shove the hands on the clock down Father Time's throat and once my list is nothing but lines I'll ball it up and call it quits on this WRETCHED BITCH OF A LIFE. I'll flip that bucket upside down, fly to the top before I fall, consider it kicked and you can bet your ass I won't let my feet hit the floor. I'll click my heels if I need to, maybe another kind of Kansas will take me back. I'm done with this one. But I won't go down blind, no sack over my head, let the eyes bug and bulge, let hazel be red and white roll like marbles. I wanna see the gates myself, HEAVEN OR HELL MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, just get me out of this never-ending apocalypse.
4.
Efficacy out the window, I'd throw myself too if I knew it would be fruitful. Every fucking action I take is fruitless, unless you count MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF TO MYSELF, then yeah, mission accomplished. Unfortunately none of this was cathartic, but fuck it, purge complete. Maybe someone will make sense of it 'cause I know I can't, sounds like sheet music read back to me by a mute re...fuck, what am I even saying? FUCKING STUPID. WORTHLESS, white flag flown high, the pole stabbed into my hairless skull like America landing on the moon. Yeah, and I'm just staring out that window wishing I could be the clouds, but knowing I don't deserve that level of freedom. MAKE ME THE SKY INSTEAD, BLED OUT SUNSET RED, and when night falls so shall I, beneath the horizon, out of sight and OUT OF FUCKING MIND. (This is where you hear a gunshot)

credits

released October 26, 2021

Lyrics and voice/vocals by Jacob Russell Dring
Production by Alex Sevigny
Photo of and by Jacob Russell Dring

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Betwixt Lungs Vienna, Virginia

Experimental hybridization of spoken word and metal, favoring the prior.

A storytelling and poetic outlet from the vocalist of Moon Devoured, Excreta, and Entongue.

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